Disciplinary Committee
by Freyjadour
Summary: I was utterly, unpredictably, unfathomably, incomprehensibly, inexplicably, perplexingly in love with Squall Leonhart...the problem was he didn't love me back. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 8**

**A/N: Okay I've written this simply because it was in my mind. It's long…I know but I don't feel like making this a short story or anything. Rated M for offensive language and sexual theme. And I know what most are thinking, a one-shot rated M with Squall and Rinoa, must be a lemon. Well…you'll just have to see won't you. I'll say this is rated M more for the language than anything else though, so there's a hint.**

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**Rinoa's POV**

"Just take a hit man."

"Uhh I don't know."

"Just one hit, trust me you'll enjoy it."

"My mom always said-"

"Your mom!" The elder boy exclaimed. "You're in Garden now. Your mom isn't anywhere around, just take the hit."

The smaller boy, no older than twelve nervously took the joint from the other boy. He looked at it if it was about to attack him. Which in a way it would if he smoked it. First time smoking usually doesn't do much because the person doesn't do it right. But I know that J.J. over there will make sure the kid smokes until he's high as fuck. I also know for a fact that J.J. puts all types of bad shit in his joints…or I suppose it should be a dutch…I don't know. Never been up to date in this department. I just know he has to go down and it was my job to do it.

I am Rinoa Heartily, second in command on the odd shift of the Disciplinary Committee. We were camping out the secret spot in the back of the training grounds for weeks. We discovered that a new kid, J.J., was selling and distributing. Not to mention bullying little kids into doing drugs so they get hooked and come back to buy more from him. He does it every Saturday night it seems, and we planned the hit tonight. It was the 7th which meant it was an odd day, so my team were the hitters. We were all in our position and were going to pop out in exactly five minutes.

Why don't we just call the police on this kid? Because that will look back on Garden's reputation. It was a military academy that accepted kids from age 8 and trained them to age 25. By then you had to pass a test to become a mercenary and if you didn't, you had to go someplace else. I was twenty and already passed so I had no reason to fear. All my friends passed it as well, and we barely were assigned to missions since we were basically the police force at Garden. A building containing hundreds of young trained soldiers, someone had to keep them in line. The best had to keep them in line, and that's why the Disciplinary Committee was an honor. Our group exists to keep order so outside sources don't look down on Garden. To show we can keep control of ourselves without help of others.

A stand alone principle to help prove we can have our own military powers and weapons.

I looked at my watch, it was exactly two o'clock. It was time. I popped out of my hiding spot walking into site.

"Stop, by order of the Disciplinary Committee!" I commanded.

They all looked at me. There were two girls sitting on the ground leaning against the railing. They could barely move their heads to look at me since they were so hopped up on something. Their arms were just hanging there by their sides and legs bent in strange angles. It was a little eerie looking in the moonlight.

"Disciplinary Committee?" J.J. grunted. He looked at the little boy. "What's that?"

"Oh no, oh no, I'm in so much trouble," The kid said hiding his face into his hands.

"That's right," I said strongly," You're all in trouble. I have the right to detain you until the headmaster makes pass on your punishment."

"I still don't know who you are." J.J mumbled standing up.

Oh shit…he was a lot bigger than I thought. He was over six foot and sleeve tattoos running down his arms. The sides of his head were shaved and a small strip of hair was left to form the Mohawk. His arms were bigger than my head and I'm sure his muscles could eat me. But that's why I wasn't alone.

I settled my heart knowing I wasn't in danger. "We are the police, if you will. You're new so you'll probably get a break since you don't know how things work yet. But you aren't allowed to sell or even use drugs. Especially forcing little kids."

J.J. laughed and pointed to me. "You're going to stop me?" He asked.

"Yes, I am."

"You and what army?" He chuckled.

I looked around me expecting to see people at my back, but of course there weren't. "_Guys_," I stressed loudly. There was no answer. "Guys?" It was now a whimper.

J.J. laughed a little more openly. "Someone's all left alone."

This was not going to go smoothly.

"It doesn't matter," I said firmly. "I still hold the authority to take you in and it will be better if you corporate."

"Oh yeah?" He took a taunting step forward. "See, you may have the authority, but you don't seem to have the ability."

"Man, just listen to her," The boy begged. "You don't know the other members."

"Other members," J.J. snorted. "They ain't here. Which means I don't have to worry about them."

J.J. kept walking closer to me and I kept stepping back. This wasn't the part of the plan, I wasn't the one that could stop them if they tried to resist. I was the one who would know the entire rule book, the one who would tell people in a friendly matter what they were doing was wrong, the one that people could come and talk to if they needed help or had a question. I wasn't the enforcer for jobs like these. I'm totally out of my element and needed to get out of here before something real bad happened.

So as uncool as it was…I turned and ran. Worse yet, I didn't make it far because J.J. got a hold on my arm and pulled me back. I spun around swinging my free arm as hard and as fast as I could. It connected with his face, even causing him to turn his head a little…but that was it. He turned his head back looking down on me looking very upset that I just hit him…maybe it wasn't a good idea.

Next thing I knew he had his hands around my neck. There's another level of freight when you are being strangled. When you are being beaten or mugged, you are just waiting for it to be over. But when you're being strangled, you don't want it to be over because usually if you're being strangled, it's over when you're dead. Because strangling is another matter entirely, you can just punch someone on sheer blind rage for a second and feel bad after. But when you are choking someone, it takes time, time to wake up from that anger, so if you are choking someone, then you know exactly what you are doing.

Basically…I was in a real bad situation.

"Hey man," The little boy spoke. "Maybe you shouldn't do that, I mean, just let her go."

J.J. smiled menacingly. "She hit me, and I don't like people hitting me."

I would've said sorry if I wasn't so worried about breathing. This guy was legitimately strangling me. He did realize murder was a crime right? He can't just strangle me in a military academy and not expect to be reprimanded.

"Are you actually going to kill her," The little boy asked terrified. I could see in his eyes he was really worried about me dying. I could see where he was coming from. I mean, it must be scary to _watch_ someone get strangled. I couldn't possibly imagine the terror he was feeling. Little punk.

"Hmph." J.J. released me and I fell back to my feet. Before I even had a second to compose myself he swung his arm back and hit me across my face with the back of his hand. Like I was some bitch and he was my pimp. What a fucking joke. As upset as I was about it, it still hurt like hell and I fell to the ground from the power it held.

I quickly got to my feet and scampered away as fast as I could. I ran back through the bushes into the training ground and never stopped. Not until I was all the way out of the training grounds and back into the main area. I stopped and collapsed onto a nearby bench. The sounds of the fountains surrounded me. It was the only noise made besides the air conditioning vent right near me as well. I slowed my breath as I listened to my surrounding to help calm down. I stared down at the smooth marble tile to help my eyes not focus on anything in particular. I just tried to blank my mind, to completely get back to myself so I wouldn't be on edge. Once my nerves would calm down, I would be able to analyze the situation I was in.

There were days like this. Some terrible bad days that take a lot of work to put behind me but I was starting to learn how to. Just completely blanking your mind was the key because as soon as you thought about anything, it would always lead back to the problem. Then your nerves shoot up and you can't settle. It leads to sleepless nights, paranoia, and all around tiredness which does not help with my job at all.

I looked up at the Training Hall entrance and felt fear strike me for a brief second. What if he was coming after me?

"No, stop," I told myself trying to be strong. "He wouldn't, it wouldn't make sense for him to. He just wanted me out of there." I slowly lifted my hand up to my neck. "But still…"

I touched it softly and it stung. It was constantly stinging, reminding me exactly where he put his hands on me. Even my face was burning from that brutal backhand he gave me. I felt tears rising up but I quickly forced them back down. I wasn't going to cry because of J.J. That would truly be giving in. Instead I stood up off the bench and began making my way to Squall's room.

Boy was he going to fucking get it.

Squall is the first in command of the Odd Team. I'm second and then there is also Zell, Selphie, and Irvine. On the Even Team the leader was Seifer, with the second in command Quistis. Then there was also Rajin and Fujin. All together we made up the Disciplinary Committee. Our job was to keep order in all Garden activities. It was an all day, every day job. We didn't even have to go to classes unless we signed up for them. We only were assigned outside missions every so often when we were really needed. We were the best team in Garden. We had the highest overall success rate, only failing one or two missions, usually not even because it was our fault. Not to mention that Squall and Seifer were the top two soldiers in the _entire_ SeeD organization in the world.

That was just cool. To walk in town and here little kids talk about wanting to grow up to be like them, or reading magazine articles about those two. Seriously, I wish I was talked about like that.

The Disciplinary Committee was actually an honor, even though many people didn't look at it like that. It meant we were the best, we could handle everybody else if we had to. We were the top, there was no one higher.

"Well I'm not," I sighed defeated as I pushed open the door to the dorms.

To be honest, I wasn't too sure how I got on the committee. I have straight A's sure, but I'm not much for military fighting. I'm training to be a negotiator, so that's what I tell myself to feel better. It's why I'm second in command like Quistis. Both negotiators to try and solve things without a problem. Selphie is an engineer, and the rest of the guys know how to fight in their own way. Even Fujin can hold her own against any guy. I did ask Cid, the Headmaster, one time why I was allowed on it.

He just laughed and said _"Oh Rinoa, because you are able to keep Squall in check, and that's what we need. Also you hold yourself well and it's good practice for your future. You do well to be in this position."_

Truth be told, I felt some people were mad I was on it. Hundreds try to get a spot on this Committee every year. And for the past three years our nine friends have just held onto it without any trouble. People are mad at it but they all know inside we are the best. What truly upsets them is that there are supposed to be ten spots. But for some reason we never fill the tenth spot. Cid even admitted he didn't want to change anything to a perfect system. So we operate one short for the simple reason we don't need it filled.

I walked down to the far end of the hallway. It was where Squall's room was. Each member was put in a position to watch one entire hall. We were spread thin but it was enough, we weren't looking for people that were having fun in dorms. We were looking for people like J.J. or others that would cause trouble. Most people in dorms just studied anyways since the classes here were incredibly hard. So we never actually had to worry too much about the noise at night in dorms. We were more for if a fight ever broke out, or if two kids made threats to each other, or maybe if a prank goes too far.

Basically…we're here for anything that could get violent.

I walked up to Squalls door, there were white bold letters across saying, **Squall Leonhart Disciplinary Committee. **

I was about to knock when I heard a noise. I leaned closer to the door to hear exactly what it was.

"Oh God Squall!"

I snapped back. "Eww." I think I was going to vomit. I pulled out my master key card and slipped it into the door but stopped. Maybe I'd let him finish, otherwise he could be grouchy.

"Oh God! Yes! Yes! YESSSS!"

God that's disgusting. I turned the handle and pushed open the door. I stepped in and looked at the bed in the left corner. Squall was lying down on his back and there was a girl sitting on him. Her back was arched as she leaned backwards on her hands tightly gripping the sheets, just finishing her climax. Her top was totally exposed, of course, but I still didn't want to see that. Squall just laid there peacefully, he reached over to grab a cigarette when he saw me.

"Oh, hey Rinoa," He said offhandedly.

The girl's head snapped to me. She jumped off Squall and grabbed her pile of clothes to cover herself best she could.

"Diciplinary Committee," I informed strongly. "Get out."

"Well…he's actually in charge isn't he?" She question nodding at Squall.

"Get out!" I screamed.

"Okay, okay, just let me put my clothes on."

"Bitch, if I said to put your clothes on I would've. I said get out, so get the fuck out."

Her mouth dropped, "Squall can-"

"Get out," He said bored and somehow it still sounded harsh.

She huffed, grabbed her clothes, and exited the room. She was one of many he had. They all came and tried hard to prove to him how good they were. He literally just lies there and let's them do everything. They want him so bad because he's famous around here. If they're good enough he'll call on them again. I could already tell he wasn't going to call this girl again, she wasn't even a C size. Also, I only know this because I sit at the same lunch table and everyone is very open…very, very open. It was amazing to hear about how hard girls tried for him. This girl was probably riding his dick for fifteen minutes trying to get some emotion out of him. Calling out his name, throwing her hair around, scratching him, doing anything she possibly could to get him into it. To her dismay, he only gives some try when he thinks the girl is worth it. A terrible system that somehow works because girls still come to him all the time. It was disgusting.

Once the door shut I turned back to Squall.

"Where - oh god cover yourself up." I shut my eyes turning around while flailing my arms.

He chuckled but found some sweatpants on the floor next to his bed. He slid them on a little too slowly so I think he was teasing me. He stood up and his loose sweatpants hung low against his hips. Showing off his perfect stomach and almost more, but stopping just enough to only see his teasing lines. His silver cross that dangled against his bare chest gleamed in the moon light. He walked over to his desk, grabbed his cigarettes, lit one, and then sat in his desk chair.

"What's up?" He asked as he lit one.

I was about to go on the biggest rant anyone has ever heard in their life…but I didn't. I took a breath and stood there silent. I looked up and then looked back down. There was one thing about me that really was a problem.

I was utterly, unpredictably, unfathomably, incomprehensibly, inexplicably, perplexingly in love with Squall Leonhart.

I knew it, everyone that knew me knew it, I'm 99% sure _he_ knew it. He was arrogant, smug, cocky, hubris, annoying, a jerk, mean, rude, disrespectful, broke rules we were busting other kids on, violent, aggressive, and most of all a fucking man-whore. He would be impossible to have as a boyfriend let alone as a husband. Constant fights and bickering, it would be terrible.

But as I looked at him sitting in the cliché moonlight smoking a cigarette... he was cool, smooth, suave, attractive, kind to those who need it, intelligent, in shape, a leader, knew what he wanted, had life figured out, enough money to retire now and provide, inspiring, helpful, and most of all, a protector.

He was everything I hated and everything I loved. I had no idea what to make of my feelings with him. I tried denying them at first, but it's so obvious I had to stop being that pathetic. I think he knows too because the way he acts. He constantly teases me and he doesn't do that with other girls, even Selphie and Quistis, who are close friends like me. Except…they have boyfriends so maybe that's why. Yet, he doesn't make any moves if he knows which means…he doesn't like me back. Which is the worst feeling ever, and I've cried myself to sleep so many nights because of that. So I don't know what to make of it.

How come I don't care that he sleeps with other girls? Well truth is I do, obviously. But I can't do anything about it and it happens so much I've gotten over it. In fact, I just know I want him and can't be happy with anyone else. So even if he is with other people, I just want to be near him. It's pathetic I know, but I can't help it. Just something about him has me hooked and it's not fair. It's completely unfair and selfish of him…even if he doesn't mean to be. I've tried so hard to get over him and find other guys. I've had sex, a lot of it actually...like a whole, whole lot, all in a couple months span. I went through an entire phase to get over him but it didn't work. I stopped it when I shouted Squall's name out one time…I'm sad, I know.

"Rinoa," He said calmly as the smoke drifted effortlessly out of his mouth. "Something wrong?"

And then there was how he cared about me. It was really, really sweet and hard to describe how my heart flutters faster than a butterfly's wings…okay so I can describe it and it's a terribly pathetic analogy but it's not my fault. It's his!

"You're looking kinda fatty, have you been eating ice cream?"

Okay, so he wasn't being sweet right here, but he would be…soon. I know he would be, just took some time to dig through the shit exterior that he was.

My head snapped up to him and my eyes were hoping to suddenly spring lasers and kill him. He smirked and I knew he was just trying to get a rise out of me. I wouldn't let him have it…actually I would. I'm going to kill him for not showing up tonight. Now all I have to do is actually say something.

"Rinoa, look I appreciate you getting that girl out of here, she was really loud and annoying."

"Shut up," I snapped finally being able to speak. "Where were you tonight?"

"Here," He replied cooly, "Fucking what's-her-name."

"You don't know her name?"

He shrugged.

"Gah, not the point," I stamped my foot. "Why weren't you at the secret spot?"

"My, my Rin, want me that bad huh?"

"Squall!" I screamed. "Seriously!"

"Why would I be there Rinoa," He answered leaning forward.

"For the bust on J.J." I answered.

"That's Saturday," He responded.

"It is Saturday."

"What? No."

"Yes, it is." I deadpanned. He didn't know what day it was.

"It's Wednesday."

"What the fuck, how are you so far off on your days?"

"I banged Tammy yesterday," He answered.

I squeezed my hands into fists so I wouldn't scream. "You base your days of girls you lay?"

"Uh yeah." He put out his smoke into the ashtray which was his _Rules and Regulations_ textbook. "And I bang her on Tuesdays, which was yesterday, so today must be Wednesday."

"You're wrong," I hissed. "What a dumb way to go by the days."

"Well she can only bang on Tuesdays," He said trying to sound innocent.

I narrowed my eyes. "You sure it's not because you just wanna say its Tammy Tuesday."

He smirked which was an answer enough for me.

"Just check your phone."

"It's somewhere." Which translates to him not even going to bother looking for it.

I pulled mine out and throw it at him. "See, Satuday."

He looked at the phone and his eyebrows rose in surprise. "Oh shit you're right." He thought for a moment. "Oh that's right, I banged Tammy Friday because I ran into her at the library. Ahh that's why."

"Yeah well you left me alone," I growled.

"Where was Zell?"

"I don't know," I threw my hands in the air.

"Selphie and Irvine?"

"They weren't on this tonight, they took it off," I explained heatedly. "You should know this, it's your team."

"Well how am I supposed to keep track," He spoke like he was so bored.

"Well because of you I had to try and get J.J, by myself."

"Wait! What?" He exclaimed showing some emotion besides his cool demeanor for the first time.

See, there was the care that was just buried by his shit.

"Yeah, you heard me."

He settled himself back down. "Are you okay?"

"No." I answered honestly crossing my arms over my chest.

"What he do?" Squall asked like it was just an everyday conversation.

"Strangled and slapped me."

His eyebrows rose with his eyes wide, but he didn't say anything. All he did was hold out his hand. I didn't move so he curled his fingers beckoning me over again. I finally gave in and slowly stepped closer to him. I reached out my own and he took it gently. Like I said before, he was kind when he needed to be. He pulled me suddenly so I fell onto his lap with my knees spread around his torso. Also like I said before, he was a tease.

"There's other chairs," I said not looking at his face and keeping my head down.

"There's only one moon to give us light."

"There's other lights."

"I like the moon." His voice was low and gentle. "Lift your head let me see."

I did as told because it was hard for me to not do anything he said. He lightly placed one hand under my chin putting the slightest pressure on me to help steer me in the direction he wanted. I lifted my head up more and turned it to show the bruise on my face. He used his other hand to gingerly touch the red spot. He pressed it a little harder causing me to flinch pulling my head away a little. He smiled gently and even though I knew he was teasing me again I smiled back. Because I couldn't help smiling whenever he smiles. Which seems to only happen when I'm near him…or so I'm told but once again I doubt it.

"Well that will heal in a couple days," He addressed.

"They both will," I commented.

"Well let's see the other one then." He reached over and grabbed another cigarette. Before I could protest he lit and it began smoking.

"I'm literally inches away from your face," I deadpanned.

"I know, and you're not dreaming, amazing huh?" He drew a drag in carefully so no ash would fall on me. He blew out of the corner of his mouth so it wasn't directly in my face either.

Things like that are contradicting. Smoking when I'm this close, yet trying hard to make sure he doesn't do it directly in my face…it could be worse…kinda…in some way. When it comes to him I'm the biggest optimist ever.

He once again very carefully put his hands on my face. He brushed some hair behind my ear, once again, for no reason other than to tease me. Back in the day I use to think he was about to kiss me, in fact I leaned in one time, only to see him pull back chuckling. You can imagine how much ice cream and tears were in my room for that week. Again, why I'm confused, because he teases me and yet doesn't do anything about it.

I mean, frankly, I'm hot, right? I gotta be attractive. People want me, I know what I'm doing. I'm not supermodel skinny but I'm not fat. So why is it he doesn't seem to be attracted to me at all.

He frowned when he saw my neck, in fact, I saw anger rise up in his usually bored eyes. He caressed my neck…well he was touching it gently, I just like to imagine he was caressing because that's just so much better. He carefully applied pressure so I tipped my head back to allow him better access. He ran his thumb tenderly down my neck and I can't describe how it felt. Like stepping from the hot outside to the cool air-conditioned room…again so I can describe it, just not well.

"Okay," He said simply releasing my head.

"Okay?" I repeated.

He reached over to his night stand and grabbed his phone. I frowned and he smirked, it was right there the whole time. He dialed a number and set it on the counter. I could hear the loud ring so I knew it was on speaker.

"_Yo_." It was Zell.

"Yo man," Squall said humorously.

I gave him a pointed look but he ignored it.

"_S'up?"_

"Why weren't you at the J.J. hit tonight?" Squall asked.

Mind you during all this I was still on his lap with his arms sitting on my waist. Once again I don't know why, but I was desperate for stuff like this with him so I wasn't complaining.

"_Uhh 'cause it's Tuesday." _He answered honestly.

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed dropping my head onto Squall's bare chest.

"_Oh hey Rin,"_

"Hey Zell," I sighed.

Squall chuckled, "Yeah apparently its Saturday."

"_No shit?"_ He didn't even sound surprised or that it was a big deal. He sounded like someone just gave him a diet soda instead of a regular. _"My bad."_

"Well Rinoa was a dumbass and tried to take him herself," Squall explained.

"_That was dumb of her." _Zell commented.

"Fuck you!" I shouted. "I was doing my job, you are the guys who can't get their days right."

Squall smirked at me, "Well are you busy?"

"_Kinda actually, do you really need me?"_

"Naw, I got it," Squall glanced at me to see me smile. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"_Later!_" He cheered before hanging up.

He patted my legs which was a sign for me to get up. I did and he stood up as well. He grabbed a pack of smokes and a lighter. He headed for his door, opened it, then looked back at me.

"You coming?"

"Wait, what?" I was confused.

"It's Saturday," He said smugly, "This is the day to bust J.J."

"I knew we would, but right now?" I was shocked. "You don't want to plan anything, or prepare a little more."

"Oh good point." He answered surprising me.

He walked away from the door and over to his bed. He reached under his pillow and pulled out a handgun. He stuffed it in the back of his sweatpants so the handle stuck out. Remember he didn't have anything on underneath his sweatpants. I don't really know what a cold gun pressure directly against my ass feels like but it can't be good…wait. I have done it before, well it was a thong but that's basically nothing. You would think a girl with a gun in the back of her thong would be a turn on to a guy like Squall, but of course, it isn't.

"I don't think you need your gun," I told him.

He shrugged, "Would make things fun at the least."

"Just don't kill him."

He shrugged again…that was all.

He led me out of the room and we began walking back to the Training Grounds. He walked extremely slow taking his sweet time. It was almost hard for me to move that slow to match his speed. I watched him curiously as he yarned rudely without covering his mouth. A big one, like a lion, where his eyes squint shut. After that he popped another cigarette into his mouth. It was like the third one since I have been with him.

"This is a nonsmoking building," I reprimanded him.

He blew smoke out in my face causing me to turn away. "I won't tell the Disciplinary Committee if you don't."

"You're abuse of power is unsettling."

He smirked, "I'm not hurting anyone."

"Second hand smoke, duh."

He looked at me in the corner of his eye. "People can deal."

I smiled.

"What?" He questioned.

"I know you don't smoke during the day around people, only in your room and at night." I nudged him with my shoulder. "You aren't as mean as you let on. You care."

"Whatever," He took a drag. "Believe what you want."

We walked on silently all by ourselves in the dark hallways that were only lit up by the romantic red night lights that lines the floor and the glass ceiling that let the deep moon shine down on. See, I can turn anything and make it romantic. But I did enjoy this, just walking with him because I know he wouldn't do this for anybody else. If he didn't care about me he wouldn't have kicked a girl he was fucking out of his room. He wouldn't have gotten out of bed and come with me all the way to the Training Grounds. So he must care.

I also like walking with him in the middle of the day. People know we are connected somehow. Originally they thought it was some kind of secret relationship but its public knowledge that Squall is a man-whore. So they quickly cast that aside, but they still know that we are someone together. Maybe even just as friends but there are only a select few people that are friends with him and everyone wishes to be. Girls want him and guys want to be him. I could see it, as much as I didn't want to. There was just something that attracted everybody to him, and since I was always with him. It made me popular. Well everyone on the Disciplinary Committee was popular…and hated…but mostly popular.

Quistis had her Trepies, which was strange and weird in a whole new way. Squall and Seifer had the biggest fan base ever. All girls wanted Irvine and he wanted all girls. Selphie had many guys after her, mostly geeky and nerdy ones since she was into engineering. Zell had many secret admires but his eye was only set on the one true secret admire. Fujin and Rajin too, they both had their own fan-pages. Even I had a bunch of guys after me and girls asking me out on weekends.

I had to admit, it was pretty cool.

"So Rinoa." Squall spoke breaking the random silence.

"Yes?" I tipped my head trying to be cute. It couldn't hurt, right?

"What guy was it again that you shouted my name out?"

I almost fell flat on my face. It took all the skill I had to not feint, scream, or run away. I didn't answer, I simply sped my pace to be walking in front of him. When I did he laughed which just made me angrier. I don't even know how he knew about that but I also wasn't surprised that he knew. Things like that always got out somehow. It was probably damn Nida saying shit he shouldn't be saying. I'd have to have a word with him later.

The silence and snail like pace kept up even when we entered the Train Grounds. I didn't even look back at him, he didn't deserve it. He didn't seem to care either. He was quite content with me being mad at him, because he knew, and I even knew, that it could never last.

We came up to the spot where I was before. Hiding in the bushes but able to have a clear site of J.J. Yes, he was still there. It could still end up being a good night.

"Okay," I finally decided to speak and crouched down. "We'll just wait until-Squall…Squall!" I shouted.

While I was speaking about hiding and be silent, he just walked right passed me into the open. J.J. heard me and turned towards him. He puffed his chest out ready. Squall stopped a couple feet from him and I rushed out to stand behind him. Squall's hands were in his pocket and his body hunched over casually. Like he was waiting in line at a store or something, like there was no need to be paying attention.

"Oh that bitch again," J.J. said directing it at me. "What did you do? Run and grab your boyfriend?

"She wishes," Squall smirked causing me to scowl, "Do you know who I am?"

"Someone on the Disciplinary Committee," He answered.

"Smart." Squall took a drag and released it smoothly.

"Ahh look, It's Squall." It was the little kid from before. He was sitting on the floor with his head tipping back and forth and a wide smile on his face. No doubt high as shit. "You're names a type of weather ahh."

"So it is," Squall chuckled probably honestly finding the kid funny.

J.J. thought for a moment. "You know, I have heard that name around here before. But besides that, I don't really give a shit. So why don't you leave."

"J. man…you're about to get your ass kicked!" The kid exclaimed throwing an arm and falling over as he did. He just kept laughing from the floor.

J.J. laughed loudly. "That's funny kid. This little boy is supposed to beat me?" J.J. took a hit of whatever he had in his hand. "Don't make me laugh."

"I'm not making you laugh, you're making yourself laugh dumbass." Squall had a genuine smile gracing his face.

"Don't call me names boy."

"I'm older than you."

"How do you know that, huh?"

"John James Durry, or better known as J.J. Transferred from Galbadia Garden this year. Age 18 height approximately 6'4". Transferred for fighting constantly with other students. Level 2 dangerous, attitude problem, doesn't take kind to authority. Most likely to cause trouble unless dealt with."

I stared at Squall who just recited all that with a monotone. He did care, he must've. He knew all that which meant he did his research. Sure he could be dense about certain things and be extremely lazy, but in the end he knew exactly what he was doing.

"Oh so you do know me, huh?" J.J. didn't seem too surprised.

"Yeah, I do," Squall took a drag and let it out. "By the way, Level 10 is the highest, so you are barely a speck to Garden."

"Then why was I transferred, huh?"

"Stop saying 'huh' at the end of your sentences you sound fucking retarded." Squall said aggressively while still sounding bored.

"Insult me one more time." J.J. threatened and pointed his finger at Squall.

"You stupid fucking douche bag, you little cunt shit-licker, you point your finger at me again and I'll rip it off, roll it, smoke it, then stuff it down your throat." Squall never rose his voice during all that. He only said it because J.J. dared him.

"You little bitch." J.J. took a step forward.

"It's a nonsmoking section," Squall suddenly told him while breathing out a big breath of smoke.

J.J. stopped moving, a little stunned by the random sentence. "You hypocrite."

"I'll put mine out if you put yours out," Squall smirked.

"…okay." J.J. wasn't sure where he was going with this. Maybe he thought Squall was scared once he took a step at him and now was trying to find a way out. J.J. figured he'd go along with it and throw his joint onto the ground and stamped it out. "There."

Squall swiftly, surprisingly, and simply opened his mouth and sucked the cigarette in. He closed his mouth and swallowed a lit cigarette. I didn't even think that was possible, but it was totally badass.

"So now what?" J.J. asked trying to pretend that Squall's little move wasn't skillful.

"You clean up your act and don't make me come here again," Squall told him.

"What?"

"Did I stutter?" Squall hissed. "Don't make me repeat myself."

"Oh boy, I'm going to beat your ass if you keep that attitude with me." J.J. warned.

"Okay you need a lesson," Squall told him happily. Squall abruptly pulled his gun out and aimed it at J.J. who stuck his hands in the air right away.

"Yo, what the fuck man!" J.J. exclaimed.

"I am Squall Leonhart, first in command on the Odd team of the Disciplinary Committee. I am also a licensed mercenary which allows me to carry a gun at all times. Being on the Disciplinary Committee has a rule book and there are a lot of fancy sounding lines. Really long and confusing but there is one line that is the most important and I memorized it because I like it so much."

I was in awe. He could handle himself so well. Never afraid always knowing what to do or say next. He was prepared, I was the one who wasn't prepared.

"Article 11, clause 6 A. Herby those on the Disciplinary Committee are allowed to use their own judgment in situations that are not covered in this manual. Therefore, _any_ actions are deemed suitable in _any_ circumstance as long as said party member of the Committee has sufficient control of the situation and requirement is necessary to use said own judgement." Squall smirked. "Now listen to this part, it is important. Only the Headmaster may reprimand the said party member if said member took his actions beyond what was necessary. The Headmaster is also the one that determines if said actions were deemable or not."

There was a silent pause after Squall said all that.

"What the fuck?" J.J. eloquently put.

"Simply put," Squall smirked completely pleased with the current predicament. "I can shoot you in your fat fucking face and not get in trouble for it."

"Bull shit."

"Did you hear that alliteration," Squall tipped his head inquiring. "I don't mess with alliteration."

"Do you think this is a joke," barked J.J.

"I think you're a joke, is that what you're asking?"

J.J. took a step forward heatedly.

Squall cocked the gun. "Oh please, one more step."

J.J. hesitated for a moment, took a breath and did take one more step. "There, shoot me."

"No thanks," Squall snapped his arm colliding the handgun with J.J.s face. Virtually pistol whipping him. "God, you walked right into my reach dumbass."

J.J. fell to his knees. He was swaying slightly so I figured he must've been dizzy from that smack. It was pretty fast, I barely saw it. I can't imagine what it felt like. Next thing I knew Squall grabbed his collar and pulled him back to his feet. He put his gun back in his pants.

"Listen you little piece of shit," Squall hissed into his face. "I had to get out of bed to deal with this. You're a fucking wannabe."

"I'm a real soldier," He argued.

"No dip-shit, drug dealing. You suck at it."

I smacked my forehead with my hand. I really don't know why Squall said half the things he did. I knew he was treating this entire situation like a joke, which is fine, because it means he isn't worried. But I wished he took it a little more seriously, if not only a little.

J.J. must've regained his senses because he batted Squall's hand away and stepped back. He wobbled a bit but recovered. He held one of his hands to his head.

"God damn, you're fucking nuts."

Squall gave a wide grin. Which in itself is nuts.

J.J. roared and charged Squall. He took a big sloppy swing with his right fist. Squall leaned back and used his left hand to push it pasted him so J.J.'s arm was going across his chest. Squall then wound his right hand back and whipped it around. Not in a punch…but in a slap. He bitch slapped J.J. Pretty hard too because he stumbled back.

"What the fuck?" J.J. was more shocked by it than in pain.

"You're my bitch," Squall stated simply.

J.J. yelled and charged again…only for Squall to side step and slap him again. The big brute spun back around and took another swing. Squall pushed it to the outside with his right, then he bought his right back slapping J.J. again.

The 'wannabie drug deal' took a couple steps back shocked. He couldn't land a single hit on Squall. His mind must've been cranking hard trying to figure this current situation out. I knew he wasn't use to not winning fights, hell, even worse is how he's getting crushed in this fight. He must realize now that if Squall was actually punching he would already be knocked out. That was the best part. Squall wasn't trying at all, he was just embarrassing him. So I guess I wished there were more people around to see it happen.

"Okay enough games," Squall's bored voice turned harsh and serious.

I knew this was about to get real bad J.J.

"Listen man," J.J. started knowing he was in trouble. "I'm done, like forever. I'll cut selling the shit and smoking it. I'll stop it all."

"Have you ever got your ass beat?" Squall asked heatedly.

"I've been in fights," J.J. answered.

"No," Squall exclaimed, "You fucking dumbass, I swear I'm getting pissed just trying to talk to you." Squall looked back at me. "Now I know why you're mad at him, he's just so annoying."

"Uh not quite the reason." I said back.

Squall shrugged and turned back to J.J. "I said have you ever gotten your ass beat. Where your nose is pounded over and over until it explodes with blood. Your eyes stream tears as your mouth shouts and begs to stop the punishment. But then you stop begging because your start choking on a mixture of your own blood and knocked out teeth. Next you can't swallow 'cause you feel your jaw break and you try and crawl away but your knee is broken from a swift kick at the knee cap. Now you can't run, you can't breathe, you can't even see." Squall took a breath and looked at J.J. seriously. "Has that ever happened to you?"

J.J. looked terrified. More than terrified. I thought he was seconds away from pissing himself…if he didn't already. He couldn't move, his mouth hanging open in freight and shock. His eyes were wide and wavering back and forth. I knew his mind was cranking, thinking so damn hard to figure a way out of this situation. I knew what he was thinking. He was wondering if this was actually happening. If some school type committee with 'students' could make threats and use so much violence.

"Answer the question!" Squall shouted even making me jump.

"No, no." J.J. answered.

Squall smiled gently, "This is the part where I'm supposed to say that is going to happen to you unless you run away right now and don't cause trouble again.

"Okay, okay," J.J. cried out. He quickly got back to his feet and tried to make his way pass Squall.

However, Squall wasn't having that apparently. He grabbed J.J. by his shirt and threw him back on the ground.

"You ignorant fat fuck, I said 'this is the part where I'm _supposed_ to say' do you ever listen with your big elephant ears, you dip-shit."

I thought about it…Squall was pretty good with insults. A little vulgar, but still creative at least.

"Wait man don't," J.J. fell on his ass holding his hands up pleading to Squall. "I'll never do it again man, never again. I swear."

Squall crackled his knuckles, "I wish that was true, but I know that after a couple months, hell I'll be nice and say a year. You will forget about this, or simply not care and go back to what you were doing."

"I swear I won't!" He shouted.

Squall, out-of-nowhere, slammed J.J. in the face with a powerful kick. The drug-dealer flipped over onto his stomach groaning loudly in pain.

"Interrupt me again you donkey dick and I'll fucking shove my foot down your throat. I know you're use to big things in your mouth but I don't think even you can handle me big boy."

Oh ew, why does he say things like that.

J.J. got to his knees and held his hands up in surrender. "Please, I'm sorry."

I saw Squall walk over and grab his shirt with his left hand. I held my breath, I knew this was about to get real bad…and it did. Squall cocked his right arm back, making a fist this time, and then launched it forward connecting straight into J.J.'s face. J.J.'s head recoiled back from the hit and it made me cringe. Squall didn't stop, I knew he wouldn't. He continuously slammed his right fist into J.J.'s face. I had to cover my mouth to stop the yelp that wanted to escape. I didn't care who or what J.J. did. Squall was beating him mercilessly and I could barely watch. Squall was growling as he did it, like he was turning into some beast. This wasn't the Squall I loved, this wasn't the one I knew. This was what everyone in Garden feared, and I knew it wasn't what he was really like.

"You fucking little cunt," Squall shouted vehemently. His words make my skin shiver and my blood run cold. He was pissed, this wasn't business, this was personal, and I don't know why. "You lay your fucking hands on her again and I promise you, I swear to God and any other fucking thing up there I will put a bullet through your knee caps. I won't kill you, I'll ruin your life so you eventually kill yourself to relieve yourself of your own pathetic life."

After every punch, J.J.s head snapped back and every time blood would fly in the air. It would fly behind Squall at me when he pulled his fist back. Squall's hand was almost entirely red and I knew his face was spotted with blood as well. It got to the point where J.J. couldn't control his head anymore. Squall was yanking him forward by his shirt to get him back in position to hit him again. J.J. didn't even seem conscious anymore.

Squall was killing him.

Squall pulled his arm back and I rushed forward and grabbed it. I yanked him backwards as hard as I could. He stumbled but didn't fall over. He was breathing heavy and his eyes glaring. His usual pretty deep blues were tainted with steel. They were sharp with anger and it looked like he was about to run past me back to J.J. but surprisingly he didn't. He stood up straight and fixed his hair. He took a couple deep breaths to get back under control.

As he was doing that I went to J.J.'s side to examine him.

"He's fine," Squall told me out of breath.

"Does he look fucking fine," I barked at Squall.

He was lying on the ground covering in blood. He was breathing but his eyes were closed and he seemed knocked out.

"I didn't hit him in the side of the head or anything higher than his ear, besides his forehead." Squall explained. "He shouldn't even have a major concussion, his jaw is just messed up along with his nose."

"That doesn't make it right!" I shouted.

"Whatever."

"No!" I screamed and marched up to Squall. "You went too far! This is ridiculous. I never reprimand you before because you are always in control, but this is crazy."

"I'm your superior," He growled.

Before I knew what I was doing I slapped him, hard too. His entire body turned with it. He slowly corrected himself and stared at me. I didn't know what he would do, I figured I just fueled the fire. I knew he'd never hit me, but that didn't mean he wouldn't yell at me. Him yelling was like him hitting me, it had the same effect. He took a step closer to me and I didn't take a step back. I wasn't afraid of him, maybe everyone else was, but I wasn't. He walked so our chests were practically touching.

He moved his right arm and I snapped my eyes shut subconsciously. He wouldn't actually hit me right?

I felt a strand of my hair being brushed gently behind my ear. "Anger doesn't suite you." His voice was soft and back to normal.

I opened my eyes. His face held a pleasant smile that was rare on normal occasions and this was definitely not normal.

He swiftly whipped out his phone. He hit some speed dial number and held it up to his ear. He turned back to look at J.J. "Yeah Medical Department, It's Squall Leonhart of the Diciplinary Committee I.D. number 142278-Alpha-Sigma-9759-Epislon-Epislon. I got a body that needs medical attention immediately. It's in the secret spot behind the training grounds." He paused and glanced at me then back to J.J."…he tripped."

I groaned pinching the bridge of my nose. That was a code between him and the medical unit. It meant, more or less, 'I just did something real bad, fix it so I don't get in trouble'.

"Let's go," He suddenly said snapping me out of my thoughts. I guess he was already off the phone. I knew he wouldn't wait for them to arrive. Just leads to more questioning. He began walking leaving me behind. I quickly jogged after him until I was at his side then walked with him.

I looked at his hand then scanned the rest of his body. "You're covered in blood."

He shrugged.

That was all that passed between us until we left the Training Grounds and entered the main area.

We looked at each other and then he turned and began walking away towards his room without saying anything. Well I wasn't having that. I quickly stomped after him until I was at his side again. He arched an eyebrow at me but I didn't say anything back. He gave a humorous look before looking straight forward. I sighed on the inside, it seemed he didn't care if I went with him. We walked in silence until we reached his dorm. He opened the door with his card and stepped in first. I followed closely after him.

Without waiting a second he kicked his pants off and headed towards the bathroom. The thing was…he never did put boxers on. So I was staring at his bare ass, I couldn't help myself. I try not to be perverted for a whore or anything, but I couldn't stop my own eyes from being glued to it. I just stood completely still like a deer, afraid any movement would give me away.

He stopped in the bathroom doorway and rested his arm against it. He glanced over his shoulder and smirked. "I got extra boxers if your panties are too wet."

I snapped out of my daze. I huffed, enraged and formed fists. "It's not-"

"Oh, and what is it?" He mused he spun completely around and I quickly cast my head away. Didn't he have any shame? I heard him chuckle, "I'm gonna go shower."

"Wait," I suddenly said surprisingly myself even.

He quirked an eyebrow. "What?"

"I don't know."

He tilted his head causing his bangs to cover one of his eyes. "Did you want me to sit in a chair as you wiped my perfect body with a cloth to get all the blood off? That way you'd see the nice guy on the inside and at one point, with the moon gleaming down on me and on you. We would just freeze, our eyes would meet, yours would glimmer while mine would be mysterious. Then I'd slowly lean in and you're breath would hitch. I'd whisper something sexy or romantic and you'd close your eyes. I'd lean in and your mind would be lost to so many words swimming around you wouldn't be able to describe the situation. All you know is that your dream was coming true and you just didn't want it to stop."

When I heard him stop talking I opened my eyes. Wait, when the fuck did I close my eyes? He was just smirking amused watching me. I felt my face heat up, he was watching me that whole time. I actually got so caught up in that little oversight to, well, what basically is what I wanted. God, I'm so pathetic.

He nodded his head at his dressor. "Boxers are top left if you need them." He then disappeared behind the door and I heard the water turn on.

I stumbled back to his bed and collapsed on it. Then, as fast as I could, I jumped off because I remembered what just happened in this bed. I crashed to the floor and just laid there.

"What a fucked up night." I commented to myself.

This was more than usual. Even if I just completely disregarded the entire J.J. situation tonight, it can still be considered weird. I know that seems to be the whole reason this night has been weird, but it seems as if Squall has been teasing me more. Not just more often, but more openly as well. He's never just strutted around nude in front of me before, that was a first. Then how he went off on J.J. That couldn't possibly have been because of me, could it? I've seen him beat a person mercilessly before so that wasn't too uncommon. But the man usually did something personal to Squall, this time, J.J. did something to me.

I moved one of my arms over my head to cover my eyes up. "This is all too complicated."

It's not fair either! How come I have to get stuck with thoughts like this? To wonder every day and night if he actually thought of me the same way I thought about him, even if only for one brief second. I just can't believe he hasn't even wondered about it once. It just wasn't fair! I'm in constant torment and he knows it. So he must not care otherwise he would've made a move. He doesn't even have to worry about getting rejected, he knows he won't. So that must mean really just not care about me they way I care about him.

I let out a sigh as I glanced at the bathroom door. "Well that's not always true."

When I first met Squall, we really hit it off. Well I knew him for a while but when I _got_ to know him was when I joined the Disciplinary Committee three years ago. That's when we hit it off, I mean…really, _really_, hit it off. He would tease me, like a normal guy but never like this. He would hold me, and hug me when we met up each day. Walk me to my classes, help me study. Sure he would make fun of me when I did something stupid, but so did Zell and Seifer. It was just normal guy stuff so I was use to it. When we took the exam together, he didn't leave my side.

"Well he'd still not leave my side," I argued out loud. "So that doesn't matter."

But he still was different. I remember one time when had this huge fight with my Dad. He stayed up with me holding me and letting me rant and rave. He never made a move, but I wouldn't want him to at a time like that. The entire first year that we knew each other…he was just better. Nicer, sweeter, kinder, gentler. I don't know why he changed, well, he hasn't changed _that_ much. He was a jackass back then and still acted too cool for everything. But to _me_, he was very different. He treated me like someone he was actually interested in. Which is one of the reasons I'm so confused now.

It's like he lead me on for an entire year, and then just stopped. And it's not even like there is another person he wants, because if there was, he would already have her.

So what was it?

I thought about the same thing that I always think about when I think this deep and about this…thing. God I'm confusing myself with all this talk, but I do remember when it first seemed different. I think about to the very day I saw him acted differently towards me. Yes, I knew the exact day, date, and place. I would know the time but my cell phone died so I didn't have it with me.

It was about two years ago.

He went on a secret co-op mission that was apparently so important, and _so_ special, no one besides Cid knew about it. Not only that, he had to go alone. It was the first and only time in history this kind of mission was authorized. We, all Squall's friends, were terrified. Seifer busted down Cid's door demanding he was to go with Squall. When Cid refused Seifer almost quit Garden and was going to follow after him anyways. Not only that, but Zell, and Irvine also backed Seifer's threat. The only reason they didn't is because Squall made sure they didn't.

It was touching thinking about how far our friends would go for each other. I remember crying when he left, he even seemed worried about the assignment. He never seems worried, but this one, it just had such a terrible feel. I had the worst feeling inside me watching him board the train to leave Balamb and head for Deling. We didn't know any details of the mission, he couldn't even know if he was going to be gone for a weekend, a week, or month, or even years.

We. Knew. Nothing.

That's what I think the scariest thing was. We stayed together in a group for I think the first week he was gone. After that, we slowly started getting on with our daily lives, but every time an announcement was heard, we listened. Especially when Seifer's name was called, because we knew he would be the one notified about Squall. Whether he was back…or…the other.

I remember we were all sitting in lunch just talking normal when Seifer's name was announced over the intercom. I found myself grabbing Selphie near me and she grabbed me right back. I remember their faces to this day. All terrified, not sure what it was. Seifer slowly got up and didn't even say anything to us. Usually he'd have some comment, but I know that even he was afraid of what he was about to be told. We all watched Seifer slowly walk away and when he was out of sight, no one moved. Not a single person at the table. No one said anything, no one looked anywhere. Frozen, all too afraid that if we moved, it would affect something, somehow. It was dumb, but no one cared.

After what felt like forever, Seifer came waltzing back in. He hurried over to the table and plopped back down in his chair. He looked at all of his and let out a sigh.

"Relax," He said. "It wasn't about Leonhart. Just an assignment for the Disciplinary Committee."

We all let out a breath, I kid not, simultaneously a big breath was heard around the table. Then before I knew it, I felt tears run down my face. I didn't even realize it until Selphie smiled sadly seeing them. She pulled me into an embrace and I didn't refuse.

"Where is he?" I whimpered.

I was met with silence, no one could answer me.

I was so upset I even called my Dad that night. I did talk to my Dad, just not on a regular basis. He knew I was upset and was very supportive for the first time I could remember. He kept me talking all about Squall, who he was and how I felt about him. I think I admitted to my dad first about my feelings of Squall. He even seemed happy about it, he told me it would all be okay and that he loved me. I could only say I love you back. No acknowledgement to the first part.

He was gone for over a month, then, of course, one day he just walked through the doors. We were sitting in the Disciplinary Committee's common room. It had a couple simple couches, some desks, and a TV. We were all just sitting watching TV when Squall just walked in. When we heard the doors open we simply looked over and there he was. Standing with his bag over his shoulder.

I couldn't contain myself, I jumped to my feet. Hopped skillfully over the couch and hugged him as hard as I could. I was hoping, no expecting, him to hug me tightly back and tell me it was all okay…but he didn't. He didn't hug me, he didn't smile at me, he didn't say a word too me. He simply scanned over the room. I pulled back from the embrace and realized how different he looked. He lost weight, he looked a little paler, and his eyes seemed strained.

"How's the Diciplinary Committee's duties?" He asked professionally.

"Odd day's fine," Zell answered worriedly.

"And Even?" He directed his question at Seifer.

Seifer met his gaze for a moment before smirking. "You're not my fucking superior."

"Excuse me?" Everyone watched nervously the interaction between Squall and Seifer. "Would you like to repeat that?"

"Would you like to kiss my ass?"

"Would you like this," Squall threatened holding up his fist.

Seifer made a disgusted face. "I said kiss Leonhart, not fist, God you're disgusting."

No one moved, all just waiting for Squall's reaction. What we didn't expect was him to start chuckling. It slowly grew louder and louder until he was roaring with laughter. Not making a single move except laughing like a mad man.

"You jackass," He smirked, "I'll be in my room." He addressed to the rest of us and walked away.

That was that. I don't know how Seifer always knew what to say and do when it came to Squall, but he did.

It was only until the next day that the news was plastered with a one in a million story. There was an assassination attempt…on General Caraway's life. Apparently there was a coup in the work in Deling and it had been planning for a little over a month. The report said, and I quote, _There have been some reports addressing the fact that SeeD may or may not have been involved_.

Suddenly everyone knew where Squall was. He was undercover for this past month, and he saved my father's life. We tried talking to him about it but he never even admitted he was there. Can't blame him, it was his job after all. To go undercover is always a tough assignment. Paranoia, weight loss, and insomnia are just a few problems that tend to come along with it. We figured this is why he was acting a little strange but he got over that in a couple weeks.

Well, with everyone he was fine, but to me, he was radically different. I don't even think he said a single word to me for the first two weeks that he was back. I figured he just needed time, that the mission was really rough, but after two weeks without a single word I couldn't take. When I did confront him, he just teased me relentlessly like nothing was wrong. It reassured me, because it made me think nothing was wrong. However, he always messed with me from then on, and never stopped even right now at the present.

"Why are you on the floor?"

I lifted my arm and looked towards the door at Squall. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and was giving me a confused look. I don't need to say how perfect he looked right now. Even his hair was perfectly moist where droplets of water would gracefully drip from his bangs. Not to mention every time he came out of water, his eyes shown really blue. I couldn't explain it, but it was the truth and I always loved them when they were the pretty deep blue. But all that didn't matter anymore.

"Because what you did on your bed earlier," I relied calmly. I wasn't going to get worked up anymore. It wasn't fair, and I'd be damned if this went on.

I was done with him.

He chuckled, "Sorry about that."

"Hmm," That didn't really deserve an answer. I turned back and rested the arm over my eyes again.

I heard footsteps get closer to me. I could tell he stepped right over me to get to his bed. I heard a ripping sound and it perked my interest until I realized he wasn't ripping anything but simply stripping his sheets. I didn't bother asking and just laid there while he went about it.

"You aren't curious to why I'm doing this?" He asked.

"Nope."

I didn't hear a sound for a moment so I knew he was just standing there, probably staring at me. I'm sure I was confusing him right now. He was trying to get me talking and _I _was the one being difficult.

"Well…I'm doing it for you." He told me going back to the task. "I know you don't want to sleep on these.

"Don't bother," I told him. "I'm going back to my dorm in a moment."

He chuckled, "We both know that isn't true."

I clicked my tongue, "Yeah, like you'd know."

He stopped again, and again he was probably looking at me. "Something wrong?"

"Nope."

I felt my arm being lifted off my eyes and I was met with his perfect face. "You're being weird."

"I'm what?"

"Being weird," He repeated.

"No I'm not."

He frowned, "Rinoa, seriously…"

I pulled my arm out of his grasp and stood up. He watched me intently like he was expecting me to say something. I didn't give him the pleasure. I simply walked towards the door intending to leave. I say intending because when I pressed the button to open the door, Squall's fist flew passed me slamming the button to shut the door.

"Umm I can't walk through the door, Squall."

"What's happening?" He whispered into my ear by brushing some hair away. I knew he was trying to get a rise out of me, but like I said, I was officially done.

"I'm tired so I'm trying to go to sleep." I flipped around to prove that I wasn't afraid to look him in the eye.

He met my gaze evenly. "No really…what's going on?"

"I'm done," I replied smoothly.

"Done?" His head retracted back a bit thinking.

"With you," I said helping him.

His eyes widened, "Excuse me?"

I flicked my hair and met gave him an even gaze. "We both know I like you, let's be honest, everyone knows that."

"Rinoa-"

"Stop," I covered his mouth with my hand. Usually, at this point, I'd be in hysterics from touching his mouth. But not anymore. "It's obvious, and I know at one point I thought you felt the same, but after two years of your constant, torturous teasing. I know I was wrong."

Squall moved my hand form his mouth. "Rinoa-"

"Stop interrupting!" I shouted a little louder than I meant too. "What aren't you understanding here? The fact that I've waited two years for you to return my feelings. I laid it on pretty thick don't you think Squall? So that must mean only one thing, you don't like me back? It's obvious, I've known it for a while but I always hoped maybe at least I'd still have a chance, well I guess not."

"Rinoa-"

"I will fucking end you if you say my name one more time," I hissed. "So this is it Squall, no joking, no lying, no pretending. I'm done with you. Now when I say that I don't expect us to never see each other, I know you will be at my birthday party next week, and I know I'll see you around. But this whole thing," I motioned to the floor of the room. "Not happening anymore. Not gonna follow you like a puppy to your room, not gonna have crazy dreams and fantasies thinking that somehow we'll work out. So, I guess…I'll see you around."

And then I left without even giving him a chance. The door opened behind me and he called my name a couple times but I didn't bother answering. I knew it would be hard, but I'd get over him.

"God dammit Rinoa!" He shouted so loud I even flinched. "Just couldn't you wait one more week!"

I froze and I heard the door slam shut.

What the hell did that mean?

* * *

**Squall's POV**

"It's your birthday and you can cry if you want!" Selphie sloppily sung with one arm wrapped tightly around Rinoa. They both were standing on the table hugging and singing. The rest of us all sat around the table and watched them.

I watched as Selphie grabbed Rinoa's cheeks and forced the birthday girl to look at her. "I just want you to know…that I love you, okay? Because…you are my best friend…and I love you."

"Aww Selphie," Rinoa wrapped Selphie in a tight hug. "I love you too."

They were both plastered beyond belief. Rinoa, I believe, was currently at eight shots. It was clear to see her brain slow down every passing minute. Maybe for the best, after that huge tongue lashing she gave me. I was hoping to explain everything to her but she refused to even talk to me. Maybe I should try while she's drunk.

"Hey Rinoa," I called gently.

Her head whipped to me. "What do you want fuck face?"

"I want to talk."

She fake laughed, "Oh yeah I bet you do douche bag."

"Please."

Rinoa let go of Selphie. She kicked her feet out and fell onto the table. She crossed her legs sitting in front of me. "You want to talk…to me?" She pointed a heavy finger at herself.

"Yes."

"Well then, let me start," She shut her eyes and paused as she swallowed. It was a drunk thing.

"Okay," I answered knowing I was about to get a stern talking once again.

"You sir, are a dick…first off," She grabbed my beer from my hand and began drinking it. "No, no…you're worse than a dick, you're like…a dildo, a fake dick, because you're a tool and fake. And I officially, hate you. You lead my life through hell…for two years," She thrust two fingers in front of my face. "Two years Squall, two whole fucking years, do you understand what I mean?"

"Yes."

"Fucking two years!" She shouted. "I lusted after you for years and you didn't even make a single move on me, you didn't even fuck me...me, not even a little pity fuck. You fucking suck…understatement…you fucking suck dildos because they are your only friends."

"Rinoa, just let me explain," I reached up and touched her shoulder.

She slapped my hand away. "I will fucking slap you with my shoe, alright, my shoe, if you try and touch me again."

I held up my hands defensively, "Okay." She was barely making any sense except for the fact she hated me, which was coming through pretty clearly.

Suddenly she started crying, out of fucking nowhere, she just started bawling. Drunk girls, for real, why do they fucking cry all the time.

"I fucking hate you," She cocked her arm back and punched me without warning. Selphie rushed over and drunkenly attempted to pull her back. "I hate you so much!" She shouted as they both fell over since neither had their balance.

Now Irvine and Zell where standing trying to help. Quistis was looking at Seifer to do something, but that jackass just sat there sipping on his beef enjoying the show.

Zell pulled Rinoa backwards, so she fell onto her back on the table. Drinks and bottles spilling everywhere. She swung her legs attempting to kick me. "Don't you come near me again! I swear, I'll fuck you so hard you'll turn gay!"

Again…I suppose it's more about the effort than what is actually said.

Zell dragged her off the table and she was crying even harder now. Selphie lead her out of the room and the entire way she cursed my name, shouting how much she hated me. At one point she pushed Selphie away and tried to rush me again. She only fell over…but it was still the meaning behind how much she hated me. Her makeup was running and she looked like an absolute mess. Drinks spilled all over her clothes, hair a complete mess. She began screaming, not even words, just yells of hatred.

Finally she was carried out of the room and only me, Seifer, and Quistis were left. Quistis finally freed herself from Seifer and chased after Rinoa. So now it was just me and Seifer.

I looked over at him and he smirked at me.

"Don't say anything." I groaned.

"I like her," He commented. "I never knew how to describe you but dildo works real well." He took a sip of his beer. "God I love this place."

I just growled and grabbed a nearby bottle of 151, twice the amount of alcohol in it than normal bottles. Tasted like gasoline and every shot made you want to vomit. I held it up looking at the tainted liquid.

You sir, are my best friend for tonight.

* * *

**Squall's POV**

It was two days after that whole birthday incident. I decided it was finally time for me to go and talk to her. I had to explain and I was going to tie her to a chair if that's what it was going to take. The reason I waited two days and didn't go right over is simply because as bad as a drunk Rinoa is…a hung-over Rinoa is ten times worse. I wasn't going to deal with it.

I knocked on her door.

"Go away Squall."

How the fuck did she know?

"Rinoa just let me explain," I said through the door.

"No."

"Please."

"No."

I sighed loudly so she could here because, after all, there was a fucking door in the way. "Rinoa…I will tell everything through this door if I have to and if I do that, I will be revealing top secret information and could possibly be dishonorably discharged from SeeD."

"…really?"

"Rinoa," I spoke so softly, my face inches from the door because for some reason I knew she was right on the other side. "Just please let me explain, if you aren't satisfied with the answer, then I'll leave you alone forever."

"Why now?" She asked.

"Because you are finally twenty-one," I answered knowing it didn't make any sense. "…because that was the deal I made."

The door slide open and her eyes were narrow looking at me. "What?"

"Let me in and I'll explain," I told her. She stepped aside and I walked into her dorm, same kind as mine. "By the way how did you know I was at the door?"

She looked away shyly. "I memorized your knock."

I smirked, "Cute."

"Shut up and start explain," she instantly went back to 'bite your head off' Rinoa.

She marched over to her bed and sat down. I found a chair and sat in it as well.

"Okay…where to start," I chuckled.

"At the place where you think I'm suddenly going to forgive you."

I grimaced; this was going to be a little tougher than I thought.

"I'm sure you know," I started, "That I was involved in the conspiracy against your father, two years ago. I was put in place to infiltrate the group and stop any attempts. As you also know, it was a success."

"What does that have to do with us?"

"Well I spoke to your father, a lot actually. Of course, eventually…the topic would always turn to you."

She seemed surprised at this.

"After a week I finally admitted that I did have feelings for you."

Again, this surprised her greatly.

"Now," I chuckled, "As I'm sure you know…your father is very protective of you."

"Did he try and shoot you?" She asked.

I smiled.

"No seriously," She wasn't joking. "He shot a pizza boy because he looked at me longer than three seconds one time."

My face dropped…I would never have said anything to him if I knew he was that crazy. "Well…no."

"Darn."

I rolled my eyes. "He began asking me how serious I was about you. Remember, this was only after I knew you seriously for a year. But I already knew I wanted to be with you, maybe not forever, but I wanted to try. He refused, I didn't think he could refuse something like this but he told me, that if I went out with you and then dumped you, I would be chased for my entire life by his men. I knew it wasn't a threat but a promise. He wanted me to be with you forever, or not at all. So I asked him, if I couldn't date you, how was I supposed to know if I loved you and could be with you forever?"

She seemed to be listening intently so I figured she believed me so far at least. It wasn't like I was lying, it simply seems unlikely.

"He said, that if I waited one year, and didn't lead you on at all, didn't even make any moves, and refused any moves from you, but simply was your friend. Then after that year, if I still felt as strongly for you as I do, then it means I did love you, because it meant that as long as you were near me that is all I needed. So it would prove it wasn't simply lustful."

"That leaves another year of you being a jackass."

"I know, I know," I pumped my hands signing for her to wait. "I went back to your father one weekend. I told him that I succeeded and I loved you as much as I ever did, if not more. He smiled at that but then told me I had to wait one more year."

"I'm supposed to believe this?" Rinoa deadpanned.

I knew she would question it eventually, sounds terribly unreasonable…well it was on fucking Caraway's part.

"Trust me, I was upset, in fact…I grabbed your father by his collar and lifted him off his feet."

"You did what?" She exclaimed.

"Yeah," I scratched my neck like Laguna before realizing what I was doing and took my hand away. God damn genetics. "Apparently even touching him is enough to be sentenced to death, who knew?"

"Everyone."

I glared, "Well I wasn't thinking rationally, alright, obviously. I told him I was just going to take you and run away. He told me that he would chase me for the rest of my life. Even after he died he told me he was going to make a special covert unit that's only objective was to kill me and get you back. I was willing to do that, I told him. He then offered me one more year in waiting, one more year and he'd bless our relationship. I wouldn't be chased, and I'd live happily with you forever…so I agreed, not sure if he would lie to me again or not. But it didn't matter, I'd wait an eternity to be with you."

I smiled at the cheesy line but she didn't…fail.

"So remember how I left weekends ago? Well I saw your father and he told me that since I was still keeping my promise and loved you still, he'd allow me to be with you earlier than the total year. We agreed as soon as you turned twenty-one I could. I was going to ask you on your birthday, but you finally gave up on me the week before…I was so close."

She leaned forward folding her hands on her knees. "So, let me get this straight…for two years, you've liked me, maybe even loved by the sound of it. But you couldn't tell me and you just had to hope I'd continue loving you, what if I didn't."

Squall sighed, "Yeah, that was a risk, but I mean, if you didn't still like me than that would prove we weren't meant to be together. This isn't a simple relationship anymore Rinoa, if you take me back, I'm going to propose."

Her mouth dropped and her eyed popped out. "Excuse me?"

I reached in my pocket and pulled out velvet box. She gasped, as girls do, and I opened it so she could see it. "Rinoa, I can't live without you…I know that. These past two years have been the worst years of my life. Every time you made a move on me and I backed away I felt terrible, but it made me happy. When you try and kissed me I smiled, not to be a dick, but because it meant you still liked me. When you fawned over me, it gave me hope again because I knew you still liked me."

"Then why fuck all those girls?"

Ah…I knew it was only a matter of time before that question was raised. Well let's try the usual answer. I shrugged, "I'm a guy."

Her eyes narrowed and I think I felt a dagger stab me somewhere.

"Okay…I'm a horny guy, and I couldn't be with you so…I needed a release."

"Why didn't you just jack off," She proposed blatantly.

I gave her a knowing look. "We both know you can only do yourself so long. Let me ask you a question, why did you fuck all those guys?"

She huffed, "To get over you, it's different."

"Is it?" I said. "If I didn't sleep with those girls I would probably jump you eventually and thus lose the bet. I'm not that strong, do you have any idea how fucking attractive you are to me? I needed a release, seriously, and even if it was wrong, you can't be mad about fucking women, when you were fucking guys, so we're even there. You can be mad at me for being such a dick to you though."

"I am." She replied heatedly.

I played with the velvet box in my hand. "I know…I don't really know what to tell you. You went through hell, and in my own way I did too, but think about this for a second Rinoa. That's all done now…forever. I know you love me, and I'm finally able to tell you I love you. After two years of not even being in a relationship we both still love each other? Does that not prove something? I hate you dad, like really, really, _really fucking_ hate your dad, but he proved a point. We can be together, forever, and it can start now…if you want?"

Her leg began shaking and it eventually led to her standing up from the couch. She paced back and forth shaking her hands.

"Rinoa?"

"Stop," She urged. "I can't…it's just…this is too much."

"I know it's a lot," I told her also standing.

"No, it's too much!" She exclaimed. "I went from believing you hated me to you asking for my hand. How am I supposed to take this? What am I supposed to say?"

"Umm…a yes would be amazing." I chuckled.

A small smile slipped through her lips and it made me feel better. Now just to get her completely back.

I tossed the box carelessly aside, not knowing where It landed no caring. I grabbed her hands, forcing her to face me. "Okay, we don't have to get married, that's too quick. I just…I just." This was getting hard it was getting too hard.

She was inches away just staring into my eyes, waiting for my words.

"I just…want you."

I couldn't stop myself anymore, I crashed my lips on hers. It would be impossible not too after so many years. It didn't even take her a second to immediately respond. She pressed back just as hard. I stumbled forward, pushing her backwards. Her back crashed into the wall but who cared? Her left hand grabbed my hair tightly while her right was up the back of my shift. My hands were on her ass. I've been waiting years to feel it, her body…her in her entirety. I couldn't contain myself anymore.

She bit my lower lip as she moaned teasingly and as she pulled my hair causing my head to tip back a bit. God damn she knew what the fuck she was doing. I pressed my tongue against her teeth until they opened. Our tongues danced with each other as our lips continued to press powerfully against each other. We hungered for this for so long it finally felt so good to be able to get the taste. Her lips were so soft and ripe…if there was only time to think about that.

I felt her right leg lift around my waist. She was now standing on one foot and pressed backwards into the door. I bent down to get better leverage and she hopped off her left foot, wrapping that one around my waist as well. I slid her back up against the door. My right arm was underneath her for support while my left one was now in her shirt. I moved my head down to her neck and felt my shirt being lifted off. It was a little hard getting it completely off since I was holding her up as well. When it came to the arms she simply pressed herself harder against the door to stay up. I took this time to remove her shirt as well…and her bra because frankly it only gets in the way.

My head was down at her chest, my tongue enjoying the area quite nicely. She was obviously enjoying it as well based off the increasing moans and hair tugs she was doing. She puffed her chest out to expose it to me more. Her head was tipped back and looking up. She bent forward plunged her mouth into my hair.

"Bed," she moaned into my hair.

I was half hoping to do it against the door but there was always another time. I quickly brought her over to the bed and slammed her down. She giggled and I jumped back on top of her. One of my hands was on her chest, the other was pressing against the bed to make sure I didn't completely lay on her, one of hers was still clinging onto my hair, the other one had disappeared into my pants. She titled her head back so I began kissing her neck again.

"Squall."

Yes, I always imagined her say my name and it was everything I thought it would be.

"Squall?"

That one sounded more like a question.

"Rinoa." I moaned into her neck.

"Wait…wait." She said that but…her hand down low wasn't stopping so it sends a confusing message.

"What?" I finally said.

"I do want to marry you."

"Great, talk after," I quickly said.

"No, I-oh God," Her entire body reacted for a second as my hand descended down into her jeans.

That will shut her up.

"It's the ring," She breathed out.

"What about it?" Where we really having a conversation now?

"I like it, and I want it…"

"Okay, after," God what was wrong with her?

"But…you threw it."

"It's a diamond, it won't break."

"No…you-" She took sharp intake of breath and gripped me tightly, which made me take a sharp breath as well.

"What?" What was so fucking important now?

"You threw it out the window."

"_What!_" I exclaimed instantly stopping what I was doing and lifting myself off of her. I whipped my head over and sure enough the window was opened. I jumped off the bed and stuck my head out the window. We were a couple floors up and there were bushes lining the building.

"We can go get it," She offered standing up from the bed. She rushed over to the door and put her shirt on. She opened the door. "Squall, what are you waiting for, let's go."

I smiled as I started at the most beautiful girl in the world. "Who cares?"

"What?"

I walked over to her slowly and placed a long, slow, gentle kiss on her lips. "It's a piece of stone, it's not you, I want you."

"That's really sweet…but I want a ring."

I laughed loudly hearing her sound so cute. "I'll by you ten rings, one for each finger if it'll make you happy."

She smiled. "Promise?"

"Only if you promise to marry me?"

"Promise."

"Then I promise I will buy you whatever you want, because this is real. We will be together forever, no more games."

She kissed me passionately and we worked our way back to the bed. I couldn't wait for this new life. Finally after everything I could be with the person I truly loved.

"Rinoa?"

"Yes?"

"I hate your father."

* * *

**Okay so I wouldn't even call that a lemon, more just teasing. But I didn't really feel like writing a lemon so sorry to disappoint many of you. To be honest this wasn't even going to have that much romance in it, it was more supposed to be about the Disciplinary Committee but it just turned into a Squall/Rinoa thing. Well leave a review and tell me what you think. Even if it's 50 years later, always cool to see a review to an old fic. **


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